Should you feel guilty at all nowadays?
[dropcap]Finding[/dropcap] out that Dubai only had a 45-day maternity leave policy was a shock. How the hell can you go from just figuring out how to look after a tiny human to stepping back into the office in a little over a month?
I was envious of the Brits with their one-year maternity allowance, and the Russian’s even more so who can get up to three years! My first day back on the job was emotional. I was excited to put on makeup and dress like a normal person after a 45-day blur, on the other hand I was leaving my bubba at home with a nanny. I chose my desk over her and that’s when the guilt really started to hit me.
I enjoy my job, yet I feel like I’m missing out on her growing up. When talking to my mum about it, she was quick to point out that my dad worked a lot, I moved away from them at the age of 10 to study in the UK and yet here we are a very close family. There are moments that I wish they were part of, but overall I am grateful for what they’ve done for me and wouldn’t have it any other way. Plus, I can’t really remember anything up to the age of five so my dad’s absences haven’t effected my relationship with him at all.
Many mum’s say it does get harder when kids start to notice you leaving and ask you ‘why’ you have to go, however from listening to a number of podcasts, them seeing you go to work teaches them early on the importance of a job such as having food in the fridge and toys so when the time comes for Lola to ask me why, I’ll have a good response.
Think it takes time, but I don’t believe there is anything wrong with being a good enough mum and doing what is right for you and your family. That chase for the ‘perfect mother’, ‘perfect wife’, ‘perfect friend’, ‘perfect career woman’ is unrealistic and just too damn hard. So I’m going to enjoy my job while I have it, spend time with friends, book in plenty of date nights and be completely focus on Lola when she’s around (have you seen my 30 day Instagram challenge?)
Course, there are low days so here is what I like to tell myself as a little reminder.
We are working to give her the best possible life
I have heard from a number of mothers who felt they lost their own identity to being a mum. Kids come first, but you should have time to yourself for sanity!
I’m not resentful of my husband carrying on with his normal work life like I would be if I was at home all day with the baby
Every minute we spend with her now are extra precious, and we make the best of weekends (guess we are going for quality of quantity here)
Thank you for stopping by and feel free to leave a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!